A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him “. ——————————————————————————– A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.” ——————————————————————————– A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” ——————————————————————————– One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?” ——————————————————————————– The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.” ——————————————————————————– A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.” ——————————————————————————– The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples. Source: Reconnections.net
In our travel package, we all receive a booklet about our itinerary, brief history of places, travel info, prayers, hymns and most importantly a guide or commandments as pilgrim. This preamble is actually hilarious. The organizer knows when to invite us to read this list especially after a week of travelling. That’s the time we are starting to feel heated due to lack of sleep, high expectations or just plain cranky. We all read this without laughing, as prayerfully as possible. Are you kidding? Have you ever tried to suppress your laugh and it comes out of your nose? So here are some clips on prayer guide: Response: Lord, May I Remember that I am a Pilgrim and not a Tourist. If any delays should occur or changes take place prior to any departures and I became anxious: Response. If I do not get the seat of my choice on the plane and the bus: Response. If some things do not happen on schedule as per itinerary: Response. If my meals, bed and washroom in a foreign country are not to my liking: Response. If a person in front of me buys the last item I really wanted: Response. Travelers’ Commandments: Thou shalt not expect to find things as thou hast them at home, for thou hast left thy home to find things differently. Thou shalt not let the other pilgrims get on thy nerves for thou art paying out good money to have a good time. Remember thy passport so that thou know where it is always, for a man without a passport is a man without a country. Thou shalt when in Rome do somewhat as the Romans do. If in difficulty, thou shalt use thy Canadian sense and friendliness. Remember thou are a guest in every land and she that treats her host with respect shall be treated as an honoured guest. As pilgrim, I prefer to soak in everything with my mind’s eyes and soul in places we traversed. Here are a very few pictures I captured.