The Cure

lander&co

Psychiatrist vs. Bartender

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.  So I went to a psychiatrist and told him, “I’ve got problems.  Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it.  I’m scared.  I think I’m going crazy.”

“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the psychiatrist.  “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”

“How much do you charge?”

“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.

“I’ll sleep on it,” I said.

Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street.

“Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.

“Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!  A bartender cured me for $10.  I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!”

“Is that so!” he said with a bit of an attitude.  “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed! – Ain’t nobody under there now!!!”

DUMP THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.  GO HAVE A DRINK AND TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.

 

Source: Psychiatrists v….
Cartoons by: Landers.co.uk

The Evolution of Medicine

In Canada, I pay medical premium for a minimal cost.  The amount of taxes that is taken out of my income is about 30%.  That’s a lot of money considering my income is so little.  I assume the tax is used in part for the medical system. 
Sometime in the 90’s, I was hospitalized for 4 months.  Should I have paid the cost of hospitalization, I would become “mental” thinking how I am going to pay the bill.  I am grateful that it was fully paid by the government. 
My knowledge in medical system is next to nothing; therefore, there is nothing intelligent I can contribute to this post except for insane Medical Humour. 
The Evolution of Medicine 
I have an earache … 
2000 BC – Here, eat this root. 
1000 AD – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 
1850 AD – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 
1940 AD – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 
1985 AD – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 
2000 AD – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root. 
Suggestion for the Automated Switchboard of a Psychiatric Hospital. 
Thank you for calling.
 If you are obsessive-compulsive, press  ‘1’  repeatedly. 
If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press  ‘2’. 
If you have multiple personalities, press  ‘3’, ‘4’, ‘5’  and  ‘6’. 
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want;  just stay on the line and we will trace the call. 
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice will tell you which number to press. 
If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press, we won’t answer your call anyway. 
If you are a GP, forget about referring a patient because there aren’t any beds.  
 
Source: Humour MedJokes
 
This is in response to Daily Prompt: Healthcare.  Come and join us, it will expand your mind.