Instructions for installing a husband

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Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband … Continue reading

Humour at WalMart

Humour is one of the medicines that I take in full dosage.  One can never have an overdose on taking in humour.  Humour is actually contagious and infectious. 
Starting a new work week, I prefer to start it with humour.  Enjoy. 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

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