Tag Archives: Humour

What’s it like to be a Canadian

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~ Ninety percent of population is massed within 100 miles of northern American border.

~ Seems not to mind that one of its provinces has turned almost entirely French.

~ Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister. But what?

~ Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold.

~ Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may, in fact, be indestructible.

~ Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts.

~ Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears.

~ Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable.

~ Never had a “disco phase.”

~ Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps.

~ Keeps insisting it “has no designs on America” and “only wants peace.”

~ Plays a mean game of pond hockey.

According to McSweeney: REASONS TO FEAR CANADA

by SEAN CARMAN

If this doesn’t make you happy, I don’t know what will.

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Monks who have taken the oath of silence, sing the Hallelujah Chorus.
This is sooooo funny!! It’s a group of high school students playing silent monks and “singing” the Hallelujah Chorus.
Look at the feet of the monks also! And yes, you do need to turn the sound on to fully appreciate this. It’s a hoot! Plus, who doesn’t like to hear it, at any time of year.

 

Source: Email from a friend.

Can’t face another Monday!

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These penguins clearly couldn’t face being photographed by Charles Kinsey, so they hid their heads – completely   Enter the competition for free through the website http://www.comedywildlifephoto.com. Conservation through Competition   The deadline for entries is October 1, 2016, and … Continue reading →

The Problem of Belonging: Being a Catholic in a Big Family

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We are a family of 13 and we are Catholic. I happen to be the tenth in line and drop in the bucket in Catholic community. As a younger sister, the rule is to listen to your elders. be respectful and … Continue reading →

To Fall In Love With Anyone, Try This App — Or This One, Or This One

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So, have you printed the list of 36 Questions on how to fall in love and experimented it on someone yet? How was it for you? Are you in love? Do I hear wedding bells?

If not, no worries. There is now an App for that provided by Apple iTunes. They do think of anything and everything for the sake of love for money.

All thanks to Mandy Len Catron who published an essay in The New York Times describing her experience replicating a study that claims to accelerate intimacy between two people in her Love Story Project blog.

But then again, I’d rather experiment it with a cat. This cat looks exactly like my cat, Maurice. Such a sweet talker.

Last night, Maurice seems to be losing mobility on his right hind leg. Please send you healing love and prayers to Maurice. Thank you.

Best things in life.

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It’s so funny to see it from Buzzfeed’s point of view and I can totally relate to this. One doesn’t have to be a Filipino-American, I’m sure other non Filipino-American can find similarities.

Oh, yes, I speak with my eyebrows, I point with my lips, I have a nickname, I eat with my hands, I have a huge family, related to a lot of people (I try to be anonymous and I deny my relationship with them), I use vinegar for saw-saw (dip), etcetera.

Dad nominated for ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: He MUST do it.

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I’m here today to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge as nominated by Marky, Matthew, Jordan and Sean.

Marky

Marky

Dad: I’ve been nominated so many times, so I must do the Ice Bucket Water Challenge. So without further ado:

You Must Do It

You Must Do It

I hereby nominate:

My brother: YOU Must do it.

My brother-in-law: YOU MUST do it.

My sister: YOU MUST DO IT!

And that’s all. Thank you for coming to my Ice Bucket Challenge.

Mom: Is the bucket ready?

Kids: Daddy, be careful.

Mom: Jordan, don’t dump it, do it very s-l-o-w-l-y.

Dad: No: do it quickly.

GO…. woo hoooo….

Slow torture

Slow torture

Kids: laughter in the background

Mom: How was it.

Dad: Brrrrrrr..…. Argh, COLD !

AND: This is how it all started. Mom and Markus: You MUST watch this!  http://wp.me/a2QcZD-45a

 

Wake up, you are in heaven.

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I watched the DVD last night “Heaven is real”.  It’s a story of a four-year old boy who went to heaven. No, he did not die. It was not a near-death experience.

It happened during his operation of his appendices. During the operation, his soul floated, saw what was happening to him and to his parent.

He ended in a church, a choir of Angels where singing to him. Being a child, he wanted them to sing his favourite song.

“Can you sing  “We Will Rock You?”

heaven1

Photo Credit: Tumblr by Theodd1sout

(Okay, imagine the Angels are playing rock and roll in heaven, that is a big disgrace.) The Angels giggled with their Angelic giggles.

Back to reality, as far as sleep is concern, heaven or here in my sanctuary: I say…..
heaven2

What equals nine?

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A funny post.
Question: What do you do with a “drive by commentators?” This reminds me of drive by “likers”. I call them hit-and-run. Worst are posts that use “pingbacks”.

friarmusings

What do you wantOne of the interesting things about “blogging” is what happens off-line. WordPress has a feature for “comments” and it is a controllable feature. You can allow all comments and then remove inappropriate ones as you see fit. But then that means you have to monitor; sometimes manners and charity are not hallmarks of text and comments left behind. It takes time. Not willing to dedicate time to the supervising task? The blog administrator can not allow any comments at all.  That takes no additional time to oversee. There is at least one “middle way.” You can allow comments but require that all comments be approved before they are posted on one’s blog. That takes some time, but you have the luxury of getting to such things when you have time.

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Literal Definition of Literally.

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Since English is my second language, I think and speak in literal terms, literally.  I followed this article for the longest time and I find it humorous. ‘Literally’ literally means what now?  CNN Living (CNN) — This is going to give grammarians … Continue reading →

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Pope vs Pope

Pope Francis is from Argentina
Pope Benedict is from Germany
Rumour has it
One is praying
One is nervous

This is SOOOO happening
in Rome on Sunday

Twitter: The Jesuit Post

Question:  Pardon my ignorance on sports:  Is there such thing as Hail Mary Pass in soccer?

Poultry Philosophers

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chicken crossing

Photo: Simon Blackley/ Flickr

I like to contemplate deep thoughts such as What is the meaning of life? Why is the sky blue? Why did the chicken cross the road? Searching for answers via Google, these are some responses from the great thinkers.

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein: Did the chicken cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death. Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Sappho: Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fair than all of Hellas’ fine armies.

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately … and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Joseph Stalin: I don’t care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omelette.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

The Bible:  And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”  And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross the toad? Yes! The chicken cross the road, but why it crossed the road, I’ve not been told!

Colonel Sanders:  I missed one?

In your opinion, why did the chicken cross the road?

Fasten your seatbelts.

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It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
This is week two of the Teacher’s rotating strike in British Columbia, Canada.
Friday is Vancouver’s turn.

Better make the best of it and go for a joy ride.

 

Source: MBRANSONS

Twisted Monkeys

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twist

At the waiting area of a clinic, I picked up a New Yorker Magazine.  The magazine freely opened up on this page.  It must be a favorite page for all patients waiting patiently for their numbers to be called.

A Purple Day

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Think purple, Wear purple. It’s a purple kind of day.
purple

I promised  kanzen sakura that I will wear purple today to spread the word posted by greeneyedchess.  

May 12 is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Please wear purple to create awareness and help find a cure.

And to lighten up a heavy topic, humour is the best medicine.

10 best things about Fibromyalgia

  1. I save money on magazines. With brain fog, I can’t remember what I just read!
  2. I am a cheap date. No alcohol, no dessert and I still feel drunk or hung over.
  3. On ‘good day’s I feel wonderful. Other people need a much better day to feel that way.
  4. I am easy to find…I’m either at the Dr’s office or at home.
  5. I never have to make my bed because I’ll probably be right back in it.
  6. I have acquired a great lounging/sleeping wardrobe. I rarely get dressed as nobody ever sees me.
  7. Disequilibrium saves money on amusement parks. I get the same sensations every time I stand up!
  8. I feel smarter than my Doctors…all they say is ‘I don’t know’
  9. With short-term memory impairment I can hide my own Easter eggs and Christmas presents.
  10. I don’t know what happened to No. 10 as posted to this source:  fibrorelief

Missing the fun – the only true tragedy.

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More than just a character, Holy Molé is a cartoon that represents the place where higher aspirations of existence intertwine with the practicality of everyday living. The two main characters represent this dichotomy and, through their friendship, they find a balance that is essential and love that is enduring. The cartoon is not intended to be religious; rather it represents the archetypical seeker in society striving for meaning in an often-complex world.
hole mole

Hole Mole  reminds us not to take the drama too seriously, or else we may miss the fun – the only true tragedy.

 

Source: Holy Molé Cartoon

 

 

The Saga of Eggs

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.
humpy dumpy

This is a continuing saga of eggs posted here, here and here.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,” BY MOTHER GOOSE
Source: The Dorling Kindersley Book of Nursery Rhymes (2000) via Poetry Foundation
Image: The New Yorker

May Day

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scream

Can you hear me scream?
Can you hear them scream?
Can you hear the whole Canada scream?

It’s tax time.
It’s time to cram and fill in the forms.
It’s time to file personal income tax return.

I’ve lost my tax receipt?
How fast can you provide a duplicate?
What do you mean it takes that long?

Have a heart so it won’t bleed.

Revenue Canada was hit by bleeding heart.
For five days the system was down to protect us.
We still have five more days to file our return.

Relax and stop screaming.

P.S.
I think I’ll apply for a one way ticket to Mars.
Mars is starting to look good the way taxes are soaring.
The amount of taxes I paid to the government is enough
to pay for two cats to keep me company in the red planet.

Photo Credit: Thank you, Carl D’Agostino

Easter based on astronomy counting backwards

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religion

Religion is a strange conversation especially when an Atheist, a Sikh, a Christian and a Catholic discuss it.  I am the Catholic.

The Atheist asked me a question how do we determine Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday.  How many days are there?

Well, the Sikh is a mathematician and from the top of his head he came up with the number 45 days.  The Christian joined in, pulled out a calendar, started counting the number of days and confirmed its 45 days.

And I said: “You guys got it all wrong. Its 40 days excluding Sunday.”

A recount ensued to prove that it’s correct.  Of course, I am correct since I learnt from my error last year.  I sacrificed myself for more than 40 days and I didn’t turn “holy”.

The Atheist is still not satisfied.  Being an Atheist, she questions everything.  Fair enough since I question everything myself, too.  The next question was that these days keep on changing every year.  Sometimes Ash Wednesday is early then Easter is early, as well.

This time I’m stumped for I do not know the answer.  Being a Catholic when it comes to calendar of events, I just follow the schedule.  It’s a worthy question and this is something I really don’t have the answer.  Just like a good Catholic the answer can be found through Google.

Based on my research it all depends on:

  • Spring Equinox
  • Easter falls on the first Sunday after the full moon of the following month
  • Ash Wednesday is counting 40 days backwards excluding Sundays

Spring was on March 21.  The first full moon the following month is on April 15. The first Sunday after the full moon is April 20 and this what we call Easter Sunday.   Back to the calendar, we all started counting backwards, excluding the Sundays and it worked. We were all filled with glee in learning new things.

The Atheist proclaimed: “Allah is good!” And I responded: “Thanks be to Google.”

This is the simplest way I can explain it to a cross cultural conversation without having to tell them about Paschal moon, Gregorian Calendar and  a conflict in the beginning between the Jewish and Christian calendar.

So far NOT good.

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I am having cravings.
I am thinking of crispy bacon.
It must be the thought of abstinence.
So, in preparation for Fat Tuesday,
I will definitely eat bacon.bacon (1)
Yummers, this looks so delicious.
A cardiac delight.
I might just die happy eating this TONS of bacon.
I did eat this last year and
TA DA, I’m still hear.