It’s Monday. Again.
Let’s ramble.
A mistress is someone who is happily unmarried.
This is a placemat in a restaurant in India.
Mistress Rocks is a women’s clothing store.
Moot points. Let the debate begin. I have all day.
RESPONSES TO THE QUESTION, “WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER HAVE KIDS?”
“Diapers are an environmental disaster (and also, yuck).”
“I enjoy my carefree lifestyle of two jobs, an elderly mother whose crises necessitate expensive bi-weekly trips out of state and a diabetic cat that needs insulin shots twice a day.”
“It was so great to catch up with you after all these years, really, but would you look at the time?”
“According to their profiles, all the sperm donors available were Rhodes Scholar finalists for both the Fields Medal and the Man Booker Prize who’d at least bronzed in the Olympics, and I really just wanted a regular kid.”
“That’s kind of a personal question, isn’t it?”
“I hate getting up before 9 am (mainly because I am sometimes up until then finishing freelance work).”
“I considered it, but I couldn’t afford a nanny, a dangerously ill-trained au pair or even a teenager who might work for $5 an hour and access to my unlocked liquor cabinet.” (That mid-shelf bourbon is fucking expensive.)
“My mother had it rough with my grandmother. I had it rough with my mother. My cat seems to think I’m pretty fucking awesome.”
“Do you ask childless middle-aged men this question?”
“As a matter of principle, I’m opposed to minivans.”
“Yes, I realize I’ve missed out on an integral part of the female experience. But the one week a month I spend writhing on the bathroom floor and bleeding through every goddamn overpriced tampon in the box helps remind me that I am, and always shall be, one with the sisterhood.”
“Why didn’t you ever have a cat?”
“Watch an episode of Better Things and then let me know if you still have any questions.”
“That’s really none of your business, is it?”
“Maybe I’m infertile! Maybe I had a miscarriage! Maybe I never met the right partner! Maybe I thought the prospect of having a child alone only made sense for women with a trust fund and the patience of Gandhi!”
“Maybe I wanted to break a dysfunctional family pattern and the only way I could figure out how to do it was to not have kids.”
“Maybe it’s none of your fucking business.”
“You’re right, I will have regrets when I’m in menopause! I regret staying in my dorm to study that night in 1984 when R.E.M. played The Rat. Beyond that, I’m good.”
“Yes, I realize there will be no one to take care of me in my old age. No one I can demand to hop on a plane to change my burned out lightbulbs and clip my toenails, no one who will spend hours scrubbing my kitchen — cleaning out the moldy cheeses and rancid mystery meats from the fridge, handwashing all the dishes because the dishwasher is broken and I’m too cheap to get it fixed — and who I will then berate because I would have preferred said adult child (almost certainly a daughter) use a different kind of cleaning solution, one that I refuse to believe has not been on the market since 1992. I’m good with paying strangers to put up with this kind of shit, thanks.”
“MAYBE IT’S NONE OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BUSINESS.”
“Yeah, probably I’m just selfish.”
There is a marathon on who gets to share in social media that they got the jab.
You win.
Consider me a sloth.
I just wear it.
That way I don’t get the “You’d be prettier if you smiled” comments.
And no, I wouldn’t be. It would take a lot more than that.
Hang around. There are more brilliant vids that you can watch on this link. Enjoy.
Recently, WordPress sent me a happy anniversary notification. Wow. At least someone remembers me. After that, I was notified that my Personal account is set to expire on January 15, 2021. Thank you again, WordPress, for the friendly reminder.
You Should Be Writing! I see this all the time from another site that I subscribe to, Writing about writing. This is another fun place that I spend time reading, not writing.
Yep! Been busy writing. Writing comments (my opinion) on FaceBook. I know I can be opinionated objectively. I am not a hater. I do not attack. I do not post emojis or GiFs (god, I hate those!) because I should be writing.
BAMM! Haters and spammers, beware. Haters receive vitriol awards while spammers are reported to FB admin with a reply “spammer reported.” Oh, they easily remove their content. I go further and check out the rest that they replied to all commenters. I received applause, thank you, like, and love from commenters. This is just something to do while I entertain myself during Covid times. Desperate measures in desperate times bored to kingdom come.
Since FB has difficulty banning hate speech on posts and commenters, I am taking this matter and using Thor’s hammer. I wonder how many users I can block? I’ve lost count.
Goodness. I do receive some good responses and people with a sense of humor. Those are the best. For example, I respond to this comment when our good doctor decided to prohibit all religious sites from having services for the next two weeks. (This news did not go well) Anyway, the conversation goes … thread.
SN: It baffles me too. Restaurants, bars, and even schools remain open, but you can’t attend church! This is starting to look like the government take over!
Me: SN, I posted the same thing on different media. Churches have been good in the prior mandate of 50 max attendees; they use masks, and only two people in a pew every other row. Transits, trains, restaurants, bars, cinemas, malls are high traffic. If the government has to mandate, it has to be objective and universal. The media’s first focus was the temples, now the Catholics. What’s next?
Someone chimed in:
PM: The government will place an agent in your house, and you’ll be prevented from any form of worship. This happens on Monday. Afternoon.
Me: That would be really nice. I hope the agent is not allergic to cats.
PM: hahaha. I hope he loves cats.
Me: I sure hope so; cats are gods. I worship them. Tee hee.
PM: I like them, but my dogs take exception to cohabit with a cat(s). My dogs discovered eBay and sold the cats.
Me: Laughing hard. This is way too funny. Dogs are just way too smart than the masters, I want to have a dog, too, but my cats insist on total loyalty.
PM: my dog is smarter and better looking than I ever was. (Sent me a picture of his dog.)
Me: Well, but wisdom comes with age and good humor. This is one handsome canine. This dog reminded me of my Doberman many years ago.
We both had a good conversation outside a sensitive topic.
Back to writing about writing. I did make one contribution to the community, and it went very well amongst the writers.
WordPress: Please do not feel neglected. I am still you’re number one fan. I love it here; feeling secured from spammers and the community of bloggers is tremendously wonderful.
FaceBook: You could do better.
“We may be different and far apart” is an artwork of an elementary student working as a part of a team at school sees the future being as one organized nucleus in living in harmony.
Well done!
Now, we are still working part of the team, alone.
Reader’s Digest compiled a selection of video conferencing working from home. We may be at home, one thing we have to remind ourselves is that etiquette still rules!
Prime example:
And there is zoom as distant learning. Imagine yourself falling asleep or logging in to a different class in another country. Oops.
I remember at work, we had a team IT telephone conference. At the other line, we could hear a trickle of liquid, then gushing, then plush. I can only think of a bathroom break. Should we laugh out loud during the meeting? We were well mannered. Complete silence.
Got any to contribute to making our teamwork to crack the monotony of working alone?
Ask me a question, and I will answer accordingly. In social media, Aleteia started its post by raising this question: “How long should an engagement last?” It sounds rhetoric to me. I am more interested in the question rather than … Continue reading
A joke is going on around my family that Three Wise Women entered into the scene at Epiphany. I knew that way back in 2017. I happened to meet them in London at Christmas. I have their photo to show … Continue reading
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Creativity comes in many forms. Happy Easter. image by Julia Quinn
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Friday, we meet again. Actually, we only had four working days this week. Monday was a statutory holiday as we celebrated Family Day. This is a bonus for the month of February after all the frenzy of stat days on … Continue reading
Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni Ya. Congratulations, Congratulations and Happiness to you. It’s Chinese Lunar New Year. It’s the Year of the Pig. For those people born in this Chinese zodiac calendar, may you be happy and prosperous! As for … Continue reading
Life is supposed to be just ducky, but weather-wise, we know we are in trouble when ducks start wearing raincoats to protect themselves from the wet winter season. But for the sighting of Mandarin duck at Deer Lake maybe they … Continue reading
“Just Saying … ” Didn’t I just use this line yesterday posted here. The philosophers said it weakens the argument. So, at the end of the day, what gives? An anxious couple complained to the Master that their son had abandoned … Continue reading
With all that hype on Canada being the second country legalizing Cannabis, not much happened concerning people going on a rampage. Cannabis is no comparison to losing a significant hockey game. So, much ado about nothing. On that day, Oct … Continue reading
Joke #1 It was allegedly circulated among senior White House officials, and one of the jokes even made it to then-President Ronald Reagan himself, according to The Daily Mail. The joke goes as follows: “An American tells a Russia that the United States is so … Continue reading
Albert Camus wrote the book Myth of Sisyphus. The myth of Sisyphus is an endless toil of pushing the boulder up on top of the mountain. As soon as he is closer to the top, the rock rolls down to … Continue reading
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Meanwhile, in Canada, a bulletin board: Parents, tag you’re it! Love Teachers. We have a teacher in our family, and she is coming home for the summer. Warning: Parents, aunties, uncles, and cousins, watch out, our lovely teacher is coming … Continue reading
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Today, May 28, 2018, is Memorial Day in USA. Today, in America, all Starbucks are CLOSED. I could here the groaning and moaning and screaming of citizens of US defending on their caffeine jolt. Nothing to fret, you are welcome … Continue reading
I took a course on Health and Safety, and this is what I learned that helped me a lot. In reverse order. 10. Be prepared. 09. Know the signs. 08. Be aware of the environments. 07. Don’t ignore anxiety. 06. … Continue reading
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Maud the dog. Pud the ginger cat. Maud worships Pud. They are BFF for life. They have a strong bonding relationship. Maud: Pud are you awake Pud: no response Maud: Do you love me? Pud: no response Maud: I love you! … Continue reading
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Between Layla and I, to keep us entertained, we followed what the nuns were tweeting. Reading their tweets were more exciting than the game itself. Hilarious! Sister Bethany, fsp @SrBethanyFSP Feb 4 Nun 1: Did you see that player? He made the … Continue reading
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I will give you a pretty lace dress To wear in the garden to breathe fresh air. Will you Mary, marry, marry, marry Will you marry me. I won’t take that pretty lace dress To wear in the garden to … Continue reading
In North America, Christmas is short-lived ending on Boxing Day. But our family, Christmas does not end until the arrival of Three Kings. That is a Filipino tradition that we must have learned under the tutelage of Spanish. When it … Continue reading
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A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He is allowed to speak 2 words once a year to the head monk. He struggles through the first year of silence, then dutifully lines up to utter his … Continue reading
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Eulogy: This man had a pretty great life but he was focused on his cell phone and he missed it. Feel the unbearable two minutes away from your dearly beloved iPhone.
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Lucy, my cat, has a shiny personality. She managed to make my sister laugh hysterically. I don’t know what Lucy said to my sister. When she meows, it’s non-stop, gibberish or a mouthful of malarkey. To prove my point: I … Continue reading
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A little girl asked her mother, ‘How did the human race appear?’ The mother answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.’ Two days later the girl asked her father the same … Continue reading
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In the city, gardeners are very creative when it comes to what to grow every year especially the city has very little land to till. So, a high-raised beds were invented. Some folks will raise the beds as high as … Continue reading
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that naturalism and evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a … Continue reading
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Just what I need. After mass one Sunday, a little boy unexpectedly announced to his mom, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a priest when I grow up.” “That’s ok with us if you want to do that,” she said, “but … Continue reading
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Ich bin kein Mexikaner! I am not Mexican! Marti is not Mexican. Neither am I. So I asked her: What is your view when the Berlin wall collapsed? Marti: Personally I was overjoyed when the Berlin wall collapsed. Many of my aunts, … Continue reading
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!
Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”
AND…..
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
source: e-mail chain
I just found out that I will make you smile! Only Carl D’Agostino can make you smile.
Didn’t I just write about my unipolar personality for the whole week when I participated in Let’s Talk? I thought I will become as famous as Clara Hughes. Instead, my STATS flatlined!
According to this personality test, I am an entertainer with the following characteristic traits:
Huh? Really? This is so uncouth.
Go ahead. Try your personality test and let me know how accurate this is for you.
I am not the only single person in the world. There are a lot of us. People are always curious about our love life and they ask:
when are you going to get married?
who are you seeing?
how come you are not married?
are you gay?
it goes on….
Now, how do we stop our friends and families from asking?
Source : Urban Etiquette by Ellen Vanstone at Metro News
Christmas ain’t over until the Three Kings came and left you their finest gift. Alas, my niece who is lucky enough to have a direct link to Baby Jesus since here mother is the chosen one of “tiny”. Hmmm… this doesn’t … Continue reading
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My friend and I were discussing about animals in their farm. They breed and raise pigs One pig he named Betsy, a very suitable name for a pig. He happened to like Betsy a lot and we started discussing names … Continue reading
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Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the errors and BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this … Continue reading
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I told my sisters not to shop on their trip to Holy Land and pay more attention to the real purpose of their pilgrimage: to walk where Jesus walked. So, instead, they sent me a photo of what they could … Continue reading
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In the mind of Calvin and Hobbes, they could easily fly anywhere they want to be. Imagine them riding this catapult and thrown into oblivion and beyond! One of the belief system in Cuba is to call on a witch … Continue reading
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This is the original version of Mother Teresa’s “Do it anyway” posted here written by Dr. Kent M. Keith. It is surprising to know that it was part of booklet for student leaders. Mother Teresa’s was re-written for spiritual purposes. In the real world, this is … Continue reading
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I suppose fries are out of the question. Image from: Philip Chircop, SJ
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“Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow ” The Way of Meditation
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It won’t be a white Christmas here in Vancouver, BC. This is our Frosty, the no snowman. What about your part of the world? Photo source: Facebook
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I posted this game of spinning here that only adults were silly enough to play. This is the result. DON’T, I repeat, don’t try when you are wearing tight long johns OR too much to drink. Oopsey Daisy.
Make sure you watch the behind the scenes.
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Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman: these are just a few superheroes the children want to be when they grow up. As adults, we show them they are the symbol of victory, the one who will save us, to serve and protect … Continue reading
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PASTOR: “The Lord be with you!” CONGREGATION : “And with your spirit” PASTOR: “Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Corinthians, 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to … Continue reading
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Working with my cat, Maurice, as a model is very challenging to keep him still so I can take a shot of him from every angle. One thing I want to prove that Maurice is more intelligent than Donald Trump and … Continue reading
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“The price of bananas just went up. sighs ” –Phil Rodriques | Photograph by Vedimuthan Muthu | via NatGeo Yourshot Read four of the funniest comments from July’s “Caption This” contest.
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I work for a school board and we only have three weeks left before the start of the school. So I redefined my work schedule to enjoy the peace and quiet. What’s your schedule for the rest of summer?
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People are fundamentally beautiful just the way they are. But with the introduction of make-up, we are brainwashed that we are not beautiful enough. Therefore, we spend so much time, money and energy in face painting. I always tease my … Continue reading
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A young deer was spotted roaming downtown Vancouver Tuesday morning, sparking concern for the animal’s safety. It spread like wildfire through tweets. First tweet: Something you don’t typically see in downtown Vancouver – a young deer on Granville Street. From … Continue reading
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Arithmetically, two halves make one. But when it comes to relationships, one has to be a whole person before uniting as one. This is a photo of a newly wed. This is a photo of a married couple renewing their … Continue reading
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An American traveled to Canada and had difficulty understanding our road signs. He came up with a name for this sign. ‘Beaver in utero just ahead.‘ Actual meaning of the sign: Parks Canada The more he traveled in our country, the weirder … Continue reading
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Love means never having to say you’re sorry according to Love Story movie. Well excuse me for I totally disagree. I’m sorry for saying this but this is a dumb statement. I am a Canadian and we Canadians love to … Continue reading
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Ask kids how old they are and they will tell you the truth. They are honest about their age. Using their tiny fingers; they will show you the exact number. When kids learn philosophy, age is about “almost” three or … Continue reading
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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked ‘Is my time up?’ God said, ‘No, you have another 43 … Continue reading
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The real meaning of peace is a calendar that has no Mondays! You wish! Peace out. Read all about it at: Morning story and Dilbert: the-real-meaning-of-peace
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Most Filipino’s first name is Maria. Thank goodness we have second name and that is what I go by: Perpetua. I like it since it’s unique. With an aide of this this site, there’s more meaning to my name. It’s so much … Continue reading
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I am changing 3Ps to 3Ws (Wretched Writers Welcome) by joining Bulwer-Lytton since I am not much of a writer because English is my second language. In this site, maybe I might win the Dishonorable Mention Award should I join their contest. … Continue reading
A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
And the WINNER and last one!
Hat tip: Weezie
Image Credit: Love, Live and Laugh
Posted by Sandee
I would love to smell Bacon.
I mean the aroma of Bacon.
I mean waking up with Bacon.
I mean…. never mind.
Wake up to eggs with Bacon!
Turn The Volume On
I love cartoons that can make me smile. And Marti can do just that!
Come and join us: Just Outside the Box Cartoon
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an … Continue reading
FF: Friday Funny
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No need to go to India To find the OHM in your mind. No need to spend a day on a beach And have that toasty feeling on your body. Be here right now, so they say. I say that … Continue reading
Let us be the Light and the Salt…
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First you have to find a cute child like Baby Jimmy. Wrap him up in a plastic bag, stuff it with toilet paper, use colorful ribbons for a bow tie and paste a round black paper for buttons. Skip the carrot … Continue reading
These photos were taken from a shopping bag “Unhappily Married” and should explain the title.
Cows, boat and huge family: Only in India!
Black sheep and Kama Sūtra
Drinking beer is cheaper than being married
Check out their Facebook, it’s hilarious. Go ahead, it’s pure and clean.
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Taking a little princess to a shoe store was a good idea at the time until she found a pair of hot pink stiletto heels. “Put them back, Stella.” “No.” she says. “They are too big for you, Princess.” “NO!” … Continue reading
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Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband … Continue reading
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Visiting the health clinic, there are so many reading materials. This is where I catch up reading. I am beginning to understand why there are so much reading materials especially People, Chateline, Fashions, Time, Hello, Nature, Business and New Yorker … Continue reading