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Tag Archives: Humor
You Should Be Writing
Recently, WordPress sent me a happy anniversary notification. Wow. At least someone remembers me. After that, I was notified that my Personal account is set to expire on January 15, 2021. Thank you again, WordPress, for the friendly reminder.
You Should Be Writing! I see this all the time from another site that I subscribe to, Writing about writing. This is another fun place that I spend time reading, not writing.
Yep! Been busy writing. Writing comments (my opinion) on FaceBook. I know I can be opinionated objectively. I am not a hater. I do not attack. I do not post emojis or GiFs (god, I hate those!) because I should be writing.
BAMM! Haters and spammers, beware. Haters receive vitriol awards while spammers are reported to FB admin with a reply “spammer reported.” Oh, they easily remove their content. I go further and check out the rest that they replied to all commenters. I received applause, thank you, like, and love from commenters. This is just something to do while I entertain myself during Covid times. Desperate measures in desperate times bored to kingdom come.
Since FB has difficulty banning hate speech on posts and commenters, I am taking this matter and using Thor’s hammer. I wonder how many users I can block? I’ve lost count.
Goodness. I do receive some good responses and people with a sense of humor. Those are the best. For example, I respond to this comment when our good doctor decided to prohibit all religious sites from having services for the next two weeks. (This news did not go well) Anyway, the conversation goes … thread.
SN: It baffles me too. Restaurants, bars, and even schools remain open, but you can’t attend church! This is starting to look like the government take over!
Me: SN, I posted the same thing on different media. Churches have been good in the prior mandate of 50 max attendees; they use masks, and only two people in a pew every other row. Transits, trains, restaurants, bars, cinemas, malls are high traffic. If the government has to mandate, it has to be objective and universal. The media’s first focus was the temples, now the Catholics. What’s next?
Someone chimed in:
PM: The government will place an agent in your house, and you’ll be prevented from any form of worship. This happens on Monday. Afternoon.
Me: That would be really nice. I hope the agent is not allergic to cats.
PM: hahaha. I hope he loves cats.
Me: I sure hope so; cats are gods. I worship them. Tee hee.
PM: I like them, but my dogs take exception to cohabit with a cat(s). My dogs discovered eBay and sold the cats.
Me: Laughing hard. This is way too funny. Dogs are just way too smart than the masters, I want to have a dog, too, but my cats insist on total loyalty.
PM: my dog is smarter and better looking than I ever was. (Sent me a picture of his dog.)
Me: Well, but wisdom comes with age and good humor. This is one handsome canine. This dog reminded me of my Doberman many years ago.
We both had a good conversation outside a sensitive topic.
Back to writing about writing. I did make one contribution to the community, and it went very well amongst the writers.

WordPress: Please do not feel neglected. I am still you’re number one fan. I love it here; feeling secured from spammers and the community of bloggers is tremendously wonderful.
FaceBook: You could do better.
Be Grammared or Be Hammered
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Dream Works
“We may be different and far apart” is an artwork of an elementary student working as a part of a team at school sees the future being as one organized nucleus in living in harmony.
Well done!
Now, we are still working part of the team, alone.
Reader’s Digest compiled a selection of video conferencing working from home. We may be at home, one thing we have to remind ourselves is that etiquette still rules!
Prime example:
And there is zoom as distant learning. Imagine yourself falling asleep or logging in to a different class in another country. Oops.
I remember at work, we had a team IT telephone conference. At the other line, we could hear a trickle of liquid, then gushing, then plush. I can only think of a bathroom break. Should we laugh out loud during the meeting? We were well mannered. Complete silence.
Got any to contribute to making our teamwork to crack the monotony of working alone?
“How long should an engagement last?”
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Ask me a question, and I will answer accordingly. In social media, Aleteia started its post by raising this question: “How long should an engagement last?” It sounds rhetoric to me. I am more interested in the question rather than … Continue reading
None the Wiser
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A joke is going on around my family that Three Wise Women entered into the scene at Epiphany. I knew that way back in 2017. I happened to meet them in London at Christmas. I have their photo to show … Continue reading
Correction to the fake news
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Couldn’t Resist
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Creativity comes in many forms. Happy Easter. image by Julia Quinn
It’s been a long week …
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Friday, we meet again. Actually, we only had four working days this week. Monday was a statutory holiday as we celebrated Family Day. This is a bonus for the month of February after all the frenzy of stat days on … Continue reading
Pig Personality Test
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Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni Ya. Congratulations, Congratulations and Happiness to you. It’s Chinese Lunar New Year. It’s the Year of the Pig. For those people born in this Chinese zodiac calendar, may you be happy and prosperous! As for … Continue reading
It’s been a long week
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Life is supposed to be just ducky, but weather-wise, we know we are in trouble when ducks start wearing raincoats to protect themselves from the wet winter season. But for the sighting of Mandarin duck at Deer Lake maybe they … Continue reading
De Javu – Just saying.
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“Just Saying … ” Didn’t I just use this line yesterday posted here. The philosophers said it weakens the argument. So, at the end of the day, what gives? An anxious couple complained to the Master that their son had abandoned … Continue reading
As it happened. Just saying.
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With all that hype on Canada being the second country legalizing Cannabis, not much happened concerning people going on a rampage. Cannabis is no comparison to losing a significant hockey game. So, much ado about nothing. On that day, Oct … Continue reading
One Ear to the Other
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Joke #1 It was allegedly circulated among senior White House officials, and one of the jokes even made it to then-President Ronald Reagan himself, according to The Daily Mail. The joke goes as follows: “An American tells a Russia that the United States is so … Continue reading
The Value of Labor
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Albert Camus wrote the book Myth of Sisyphus. The myth of Sisyphus is an endless toil of pushing the boulder up on top of the mountain. As soon as he is closer to the top, the rock rolls down to … Continue reading
Tag, You’re It!
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Meanwhile, in Canada, a bulletin board: Parents, tag you’re it! Love Teachers. We have a teacher in our family, and she is coming home for the summer. Warning: Parents, aunties, uncles, and cousins, watch out, our lovely teacher is coming … Continue reading
Memorial Day
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Today, May 28, 2018, is Memorial Day in USA. Today, in America, all Starbucks are CLOSED. I could here the groaning and moaning and screaming of citizens of US defending on their caffeine jolt. Nothing to fret, you are welcome … Continue reading
Ways to stay safe
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I took a course on Health and Safety, and this is what I learned that helped me a lot. In reverse order. 10. Be prepared. 09. Know the signs. 08. Be aware of the environments. 07. Don’t ignore anxiety. 06. … Continue reading
Let me sleep
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Maud the dog. Pud the ginger cat. Maud worships Pud. They are BFF for life. They have a strong bonding relationship. Maud: Pud are you awake Pud: no response Maud: Do you love me? Pud: no response Maud: I love you! … Continue reading
These Nuns are out of Order #SuperbowlinTheConvent
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Between Layla and I, to keep us entertained, we followed what the nuns were tweeting. Reading their tweets were more exciting than the game itself. Hilarious! Sister Bethany, fsp @SrBethanyFSP Feb 4 Nun 1: Did you see that player? He made the … Continue reading
Be Loved
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I will give you a pretty lace dress To wear in the garden to breathe fresh air. Will you Mary, marry, marry, marry Will you marry me. I won’t take that pretty lace dress To wear in the garden to … Continue reading
Finale
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In North America, Christmas is short-lived ending on Boxing Day. But our family, Christmas does not end until the arrival of Three Kings. That is a Filipino tradition that we must have learned under the tutelage of Spanish. When it … Continue reading
Vow of Silence
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A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He is allowed to speak 2 words once a year to the head monk. He struggles through the first year of silence, then dutifully lines up to utter his … Continue reading
That Awkward Moment
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Eulogy: This man had a pretty great life but he was focused on his cell phone and he missed it. Feel the unbearable two minutes away from your dearly beloved iPhone.
Stop complaining. Give the teacher a hug!
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Stealing my thunder
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Lucy, my cat, has a shiny personality. She managed to make my sister laugh hysterically. I don’t know what Lucy said to my sister. When she meows, it’s non-stop, gibberish or a mouthful of malarkey. To prove my point: I … Continue reading
What Calvin is actually saying…
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Human Race
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A little girl asked her mother, ‘How did the human race appear?’ The mother answered, ‘God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.’ Two days later the girl asked her father the same … Continue reading
Don’t look, don’t look, I said don’t look!
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Missing you, Mom.
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Nothing to sneeze about
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What on Earth !????
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In the city, gardeners are very creative when it comes to what to grow every year especially the city has very little land to till. So, a high-raised beds were invented. Some folks will raise the beds as high as … Continue reading
Financial Advice: Do the math
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Giving Thanks as a New Christian
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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that naturalism and evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a … Continue reading
Thank Goodness for Spike
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Just what I need. After mass one Sunday, a little boy unexpectedly announced to his mom, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a priest when I grow up.” “That’s ok with us if you want to do that,” she said, “but … Continue reading
The Wall Outside the Box
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Ich bin kein Mexikaner! I am not Mexican! Marti is not Mexican. Neither am I. So I asked her: What is your view when the Berlin wall collapsed? Marti: Personally I was overjoyed when the Berlin wall collapsed. Many of my aunts, … Continue reading
My New Primary Doctor
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Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!
Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”
AND…..
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
- The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans…
- The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
source: e-mail chain
1 out of my 16 personalities
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I just found out that I will make you smile! Only Carl D’Agostino can make you smile.
Didn’t I just write about my unipolar personality for the whole week when I participated in Let’s Talk? I thought I will become as famous as Clara Hughes. Instead, my STATS flatlined!
According to this personality test, I am an entertainer with the following characteristic traits:
- An introverted mind that determines how I interact with my environment.
- Observant energy where I direct my mental capacity.
- My nature is closer to 60% feeling in decision-making and coping with my emotions.
- My tactical approach is less judgmental and more on the prospective side in work, planning, and decision-making.
- And this is BIG, it describes identity. Identity underpins all of the above. It tested that I have no identity crisis. Meaning, I am assertive.
Huh? Really? This is so uncouth.
Go ahead. Try your personality test and let me know how accurate this is for you.
The Question
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I am not the only single person in the world. There are a lot of us. People are always curious about our love life and they ask:
when are you going to get married?
who are you seeing?
how come you are not married?
are you gay?
it goes on….
Now, how do we stop our friends and families from asking?
Source : Urban Etiquette by Ellen Vanstone at Metro News
Hey Three Kings…
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Christmas ain’t over until the Three Kings came and left you their finest gift. Alas, my niece who is lucky enough to have a direct link to Baby Jesus since here mother is the chosen one of “tiny”. Hmmm… this doesn’t … Continue reading
The Nameless Ones
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My friend and I were discussing about animals in their farm. They breed and raise pigs One pig he named Betsy, a very suitable name for a pig. He happened to like Betsy a lot and we started discussing names … Continue reading
Church Bulletins – They’re Back!
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Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the errors and BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this … Continue reading
Thank Goodness It’s Wednesday
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I told my sisters not to shop on their trip to Holy Land and pay more attention to the real purpose of their pilgrimage: to walk where Jesus walked. So, instead, they sent me a photo of what they could … Continue reading
Calvin and Hobbes would be perfect in Cuba
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In the mind of Calvin and Hobbes, they could easily fly anywhere they want to be. Imagine them riding this catapult and thrown into oblivion and beyond! One of the belief system in Cuba is to call on a witch … Continue reading
…anyway. One tough act to follow.
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This is the original version of Mother Teresa’s “Do it anyway” posted here written by Dr. Kent M. Keith. It is surprising to know that it was part of booklet for student leaders. Mother Teresa’s was re-written for spiritual purposes. In the real world, this is … Continue reading
Wishful Thinking
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Not a Happy Meal
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I suppose fries are out of the question. Image from: Philip Chircop, SJ
Who let the dog out?
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“Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow ” The Way of Meditation
Christmas ~ What to expect
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It won’t be a white Christmas here in Vancouver, BC. This is our Frosty, the no snowman. What about your part of the world? Photo source: Facebook
Spin the Donkey
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I posted this game of spinning here that only adults were silly enough to play. This is the result. DON’T, I repeat, don’t try when you are wearing tight long johns OR too much to drink. Oopsey Daisy.
The Signs
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Part II: Happiest table at home
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Make sure you watch the behind the scenes.
At the end of the day, victory prevails.
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Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman: these are just a few superheroes the children want to be when they grow up. As adults, we show them they are the symbol of victory, the one who will save us, to serve and protect … Continue reading
Church service in the future
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PASTOR: “The Lord be with you!” CONGREGATION : “And with your spirit” PASTOR: “Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Corinthians, 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to … Continue reading
Catastrophe Modeling
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Working with my cat, Maurice, as a model is very challenging to keep him still so I can take a shot of him from every angle. One thing I want to prove that Maurice is more intelligent than Donald Trump and … Continue reading
China Stock Market Effect
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“The price of bananas just went up. sighs ” –Phil Rodriques | Photograph by Vedimuthan Muthu | via NatGeo Yourshot Read four of the funniest comments from July’s “Caption This” contest.
Cat-imist
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Weekly work plan: redefined
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I work for a school board and we only have three weeks left before the start of the school. So I redefined my work schedule to enjoy the peace and quiet. What’s your schedule for the rest of summer?
Life is like a box of chocolate
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Chasing Beauty
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People are fundamentally beautiful just the way they are. But with the introduction of make-up, we are brainwashed that we are not beautiful enough. Therefore, we spend so much time, money and energy in face painting. I always tease my … Continue reading
How a tweet can bring out the twit in you.
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A young deer was spotted roaming downtown Vancouver Tuesday morning, sparking concern for the animal’s safety. It spread like wildfire through tweets. First tweet: Something you don’t typically see in downtown Vancouver – a young deer on Granville Street. From … Continue reading
Here’s the plan for the summer.
Half and Half Makes Two
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Arithmetically, two halves make one. But when it comes to relationships, one has to be a whole person before uniting as one. This is a photo of a newly wed. This is a photo of a married couple renewing their … Continue reading
Road Sign: Beaver in Utero Just Ahead
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An American traveled to Canada and had difficulty understanding our road signs. He came up with a name for this sign. ‘Beaver in utero just ahead.‘ Actual meaning of the sign: Parks Canada The more he traveled in our country, the weirder … Continue reading
Politics of Religion
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Canadians mean having to say you’re sorry.
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Love means never having to say you’re sorry according to Love Story movie. Well excuse me for I totally disagree. I’m sorry for saying this but this is a dumb statement. I am a Canadian and we Canadians love to … Continue reading
Psychologically speaking, age is a game.
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Ask kids how old they are and they will tell you the truth. They are honest about their age. Using their tiny fingers; they will show you the exact number. When kids learn philosophy, age is about “almost” three or … Continue reading
Didn’t recognize you.
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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked ‘Is my time up?’ God said, ‘No, you have another 43 … Continue reading
What day is it?
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Free: Call Jennifer
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The Real Meaning of Peace
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The real meaning of peace is a calendar that has no Mondays! You wish! Peace out. Read all about it at: Morning story and Dilbert: the-real-meaning-of-peace
DING DONG!
The Hidden Meaning of My Name
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Most Filipino’s first name is Maria. Thank goodness we have second name and that is what I go by: Perpetua. I like it since it’s unique. With an aide of this this site, there’s more meaning to my name. It’s so much … Continue reading
Wretched Writers Welcome
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I am changing 3Ps to 3Ws (Wretched Writers Welcome) by joining Bulwer-Lytton since I am not much of a writer because English is my second language. In this site, maybe I might win the Dishonorable Mention Award should I join their contest. … Continue reading
Proverbs
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A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
- Don’t change horses …until they stop running.
- Strike while the …bug is close.
- It’s always darkest before …Daylight Saving Time.
- Never underestimate the power of …termites.
- You can lead a horse to water but …How?
- Don’t bite the hand that …looks dirty.
- No news is …impossible.
- A miss is as good as a …Mr.
- You can’t teach an old dog new …Math.
- If you lie down with dogs, you’ll …stink in the morning.
- Love all, trust …Me.
- The pen is mightier than the …pigs.
- An idle mind is …the best way to relax.
- Where there’s smoke there’s …pollution.
- Happy the bride who …gets all the presents.
- A penny saved is …not much.
- Two’s company, three’s …the Musketeers.
- Don’t put off till tomorrow what …you put on to go to bed.
- Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and …You have to blow your nose.
- There are none so blind as …Stevie Wonder.
- Children should be seen and not …spanked or grounded.
- If at first you don’t succeed …get new batteries.
- You get out of something only what you …See in the picture on the box.
- When the blind lead the blind …get out of the way.
- A bird in the hand …is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
- Better late than … Pregnant!
Hat tip: Weezie
Image Credit: Love, Live and Laugh
Posted by Sandee
Nothing is better than Bacon
I would love to smell Bacon.
I mean the aroma of Bacon.
I mean waking up with Bacon.
I mean…. never mind.
Wake up to eggs with Bacon!
Another dream…
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FREEZE!
Turn The Volume On
Selfie Gone Wrong
I love cartoons that can make me smile. And Marti can do just that!
Come and join us: Just Outside the Box Cartoon
Silent Treatment
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an … Continue reading
Dun.dun.dun
FF: Friday Funny
A Guilt Free Day is a Fluffy Kind of Serenity
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No need to go to India To find the OHM in your mind. No need to spend a day on a beach And have that toasty feeling on your body. Be here right now, so they say. I say that … Continue reading
I apologize for interrupting Spiritual Sunday
Let us be the Light and the Salt…
The making of a snowman
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First you have to find a cute child like Baby Jimmy. Wrap him up in a plastic bag, stuff it with toilet paper, use colorful ribbons for a bow tie and paste a round black paper for buttons. Skip the carrot … Continue reading
Unhappily Married: An Indian Humour
These photos were taken from a shopping bag “Unhappily Married” and should explain the title.

Cows, boat and huge family: Only in India!

Black sheep and Kama Sūtra

Drinking beer is cheaper than being married
Check out their Facebook, it’s hilarious. Go ahead, it’s pure and clean.
Whatever Stella wants, Stella gets!
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Taking a little princess to a shoe store was a good idea at the time until she found a pair of hot pink stiletto heels. “Put them back, Stella.” “No.” she says. “They are too big for you, Princess.” “NO!” … Continue reading
Off the table, Maurice!
Hmmm … this is problem
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Instructions for installing a husband
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Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband … Continue reading
Kiss Me.
Psychiatric Help
Dig-Dig-Dig….
How to be really alive!
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Visiting the health clinic, there are so many reading materials. This is where I catch up reading. I am beginning to understand why there are so much reading materials especially People, Chateline, Fashions, Time, Hello, Nature, Business and New Yorker … Continue reading
How do you say relief?
A sigh of relief, for British Columbia, Canada, it’s first day back to school after a long dispute between the BCTF and BC Government.
I want to do boring things with you
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A bore has feelings. Very often he will interrupt something boring he is saying to comment that he is a bore. His wife comes over and inquires sweetly, “Is he boring you?” If he is, maybe it’s your fault. “Being … Continue reading
Lighten up, it’s Friday
This is our little secret
Morning workout
Good Morning
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BORROWING FROM GOD
At the end of the day, I need humour. And I got it and I don’t even have to wait….
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
“God”, he said, “how long is a million years?”
God answered, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.”
The man asked, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answered, “To me, it’s a penny.”
The man then asked, “God, can I have a penny?”
God answered, “In a minute.”
Source | Roger Kuder, Jokes and Riddles
(lulu.com, 2012) page 11
________________
Another rendition of the same story:
A man was talking to God one day, and he said, “God, I have always wanted to ask you this question.” He said, “God, from your perspective how long is a million years?”
God said, “In my perspective, a million years is a second.”
“Wow, a second!” He then said, “God, from your…
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