Sometime the hating has to stop.

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For Valentine’s Day, I wanted to watch a movie that would make my heart all warm and fuzzy as I nurse the dreaded flu that I am afflicted with for the past three days. Our library has a wide range … Continue reading

Think, Listen, Wait, Try, Earn, Forgive

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There is always a reason whatever that may be. But thoughts are funny for some reasons just do not make sense.

I will use myself as an example. And this is the bubble of my thoughts.
Before

I post. I trash. I post. I trash. Repeat.

Can I anticipate the maddening process of my brain? Yes, most of the time.

I wonder if Hemingway’s bubbling thoughts is similar to me. Did he learn to forgive?

Forgiveness has no limitation

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“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” ― Martin Luther King Jr. Forgiveness is not so easy. It’s easier said than done. But once it’s done, forgiveness is transforming. Citing the forgiveness statement of the victims … Continue reading

Get used to the bear behind you.

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Paul Cronin’s book of conversations with filmmaker Werner Herzog is called Werner Herzog – A Guide for the Perplexed. On the back cover of the book, Herzog offers a list of advice for filmmakers that doubles as general purpose life … Continue reading

The answer to a question

Vancouver BCFor years I have honored, in silence, this season of endings and beginnings.

To share one’s own suicide attempt is harrowing; it brings up deeply polarizing emotions. There are many who believe that those who have committed suicide are selfish, mentally ill, weak, cowardly. These labels come from grief too heavy to bear. If you carry this stigma, who you are today is shadowed by who you were in a moment of losing your way.

On November 22, International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, across the world women and men come together to mourn their heart-breaking losses and celebrate those lives that ended too soon.

Many will not take part in this community. Biologically we are wired for survival, and when someone attempts to die, executes that attempt and dies, the balance is disrupted. We celebrate, and rightly so, the resilience of the fighter who wins against all odds.

The healing […]

I needed to forgive myself. Forgive myself for not knowing how to go forward, forgive myself for giving up hope, forgive myself for being ashamed and guilty year after year.

I needed to forgive myself for not trusting my intuition and not holding up the flickering light of my inner resources when the shadows closed in.

I needed to forgive myself for an eviscerating eating disorder that broke me down and drove me to that night. I needed to forgive myself for the self-destruction of my body, forgive myself for believing that I was worthless and deserved all of the abuses at my biological parents’ hands.

I needed to forgive myself for not honoring how strong I had been, for having the courage to leave behind a biological tribe and find my place in the world.

I needed to forgive myself for having tried to take away the spark that is a divine gift, and I needed to forgive myself for hurting me, for hurting my soul already crushed by others. I needed to forgive myself for having not held myself up and refused anything but love, compassion and being seen.

Forgiveness brought me home; it allowed me to call back the part of me that had fled in terror during those three days in a coma; welcome back each beautiful and unique part of myself I had attempted to destroy — in heart-breaking parallel to those who had oppressed me physically, spiritually, and emotionally and attempted to break my spirit.

Source: On Being with Krista Tippett: Survivor’s Account
Contributor: Rebekha Cowell

Coming to Terms

Pride?  There is no pride when it comes to having a peaceful relationship. It’s easier for me to shallow my pride: it’s not Forgivenessfattening.  I will be the first one to say I’m sorry in order to make peace even though I am very much aware that it’s not my fault nor it’s anyone’s fault.  Pointing a finger does not help.

How many times do I have to apologize?  Once, twice, thrice or maybe 7 times 7 as the good book says.

Word, ancient word I used now has meaning that is entirely different.  What do I know about English definition? Can I not use the phrase “Are you happy and gay?”  Gay is no longer a good word today, apparently not for it has offended the other person.  The word “gay”  has a negative connotation.

Apologize if I must, face to face.  Follow it up in writing.  “I apologize for making you feel awkward and I am sorry that it hurt you. What can I do to make you feel better?” Still that is not enough.  Apology not accepted and I have to bring it to the light and tell the people who are in a position.

I feel condemned.  I know the matter is not over and it will come back to me like a freight train.  The train came; I jumped into it and pushed the brake as hard as I could.  But the damage is done.

In the end, in front of the judges, I said “I forgive you for not being able to forgive me.”

“Come to terms quickly with your accuser while the two of you are on the way to court, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.  Truly, I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.” ~ Matthew 5. 17-37

Painting:  The Father’s Love by Lyn Deutsh via A-MUSED
Dearest Daughter and February 2014 Monthly Peace Challenge

 

The Lucky One – Black Mother

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Someone told me to read the lives of the saints to help me in times of dark night of the soul.  Not just the saints but as well as people who had the courage to come back.  These are ordinary people who managed to crawl out of their darkness with the help of others and divine intervention.

She was born in Sudan in 1869, kidnapped by Arab slave trades at age seven, sold and resold, suffered much trauma, abuse and brutality during her captivity that caused her to forget her own name. She was named Bakhita, meaning “the lucky one”. Life as a slave terrified her.

St. Josephine Bakhita

Click on the photo to view a brief story in video.

Forgiveness: 
“If I were to meet the slave merchants who kidnapped me, and even those who tortured me, I would kneel and kiss their hands. If what happened to me had never taken place, how could I have become a Christian and a religious?”

Eventually, in 1883 an Italian consul bought her, treated her kindly in his household, took her to Italy and was given as present to a wife of friend.  When the new owner left for Africa to attend to business matters,  she gave the  Canossian Sisters of Venice  custody of Bakhita. Here she found out that she is a free person and remained with the Sisters, became a nun and known as the “Black Mother.”

Bakhita, what a life story she had at a tender age.  How does one get over the abuse she received as a child?  With the help of others that cared about her and discovered that she has a new Master, her God, she recovered.

During the millennium year 2000, Pope Paul II canonized Josephine Bakhita.

Sources:
Wikipedia: Josephine Bakhita
UCatholic: February 8 Saint of the day
Depressed and Catholic: Bakhita, hope for those abused in childhood

Better than Bacon

Who doesn’t like Bacon?  Can’t say I don’t.  I happen to like bacon and the smell of bacon wafting through the atmosphere.  Imagine me hovering on mid-air following the scent of the bacon.  It’s so enticing.  Ah ….

Bacon is one of the most common discussions at work.  We could talk about bacon all day long except for other belief system that doesn’t eat meat at all.  However, they are intoxicated by the smell of bacon.  Yet, their faith keeps them from eating this sinful delicacy.  They have such deep abiding faith.

Would you care to join me and eat bacon?

When I invite someone, I try all kinds of tricks to join me or join us.  But I suppose dangling bacon is not as good as dangling a carrot.

I am actually talking about Catholics bloggers.  There are many of us: some are really dedicated, some are lapsed.  And there are non-Catholics that are just faithful to their religion.  It really does not matter to me.  Catholic means Universal.  I embrace you all.

For the sake of this post, I am supposed to link two sites that are catholic bloggers.  Let me introduce:

Claudia.  I like her sense of humour and I can relate to her.
“Whoever suffers from mental illness ‘always’ bears God’s image and likeness in himself, as does every human being.” excerpt from statement by Blessed Pope John Paul II at International Conference for Health Care Workers, on Illnesses of the Human Mind, November 30, 1997.

Not The Sword But The Pen.  She wants to join the Franciscan Missionary Sisters of Our Lady of Sorrows (Beaverton, Oregon).  I happen to follow the footsteps of St. Francis.

Friar Musings.  The title is exactly what it says.  He is a Franciscan Friar.  Again, he is another St. Francis in the making.   This link speaks about mindfulness and I quote:

The weather and its coming and goings make us vigilant. What else in life causes you to be vigilant, attentive, watchful, observant, alert? Is it the literal thief in the night?  Maybe at best I have been attentive – you know… lock the doors and windows, install an motion-sensing flood lights outside, regular things.  Did I stay up all night on watch?  No.  Didn’t install ADT or other home protection systems, either. Maybe a better word for all this is that I was “mindful.”  I was mindful of the possibility of a thief in the night, but it was all just integrated into my life.

I did ask the first two but not Father.  They are good in what they do already to let their faith shine in the whole blogging world.

As for Better Than Bacon, this is what it’s all about: click on Man Alive.

 
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