Fresh Off The Boat

The excitement is brewing because on July 1^st., we will be celebrating Canada Day. 

I remember when we entered Canada. Coming off the plane, I needed to go and do Number 1.  Since everything is new to me, I was totally lost.  The washroom was nowhere in sight.  Finally, I saw a man in uniform, a security guard.  And I flagged him down and asked. 

Sir, can you tell me where the CR is?
CR?  He answered me with a question.
You know where I can go wee-wee.
Wee-wee?  Another question. 

My goodness, I hate it when someone answers my question with a question.  

Since I am fresh off the boat, I maintained cool.
Sir, what I mean is comfort room, CR.
Ah, you mean Canadian Railway? 

UGH!  Okay, I better try a different terminology then. If this kind of conversation would go any longer, I might as well pee right there and then.  Can’t he see I was already crossing my legs? 

No Sir, I want to void.
Void?  What do you mean void? 

I guess the American English is not recognized in Canada, I thought. 

Sir, what I mean is I want to sit on a throne!
Ah, you mean the washroom.
Whatever, I thought.
Sir, please, sir.  Hurry.  I really have to go. 

Cross my heart, I never heard of a washroom in my life.  Maybe I should have said it in plain English toilet or commode.