Pray for me, instead.

Westminster Cathedral, London, UK

“Have you tried praying about it?”
Yes. The answer is yes. I pray constantly.
I pray that God will give me the strength to get out of bed to feed and care for my dogs when I’m having an episode of bipolar depression.
I pray that God will steady my voice, so I won’t constantly over talk others when I’m stuck in an episode of bipolar mania.
I pray that God will strengthen my resolve when I have racing thoughts of worthlessness that could lead to self-harm.
I pray that God will help me be strong, and learn to control my emotions, so I can be a mother someday.
I also pray about hundreds of things that have nothing to do with my mental illness.
So, yes, I pray.

These “prayer” comments hurt, they really hurt. For example, a few weeks ago I posted a blog about my struggle with depression, someone who read it said to me; “that’s you letting the devil in, you have to pray harder.” That comment hit me like a punch directly to the gut; upon hearing it I immediately got dizzy, nauseous, and frantic. I know, I know, their comment probably came from a good place… But it made me feel so empty. My mental illness is not caused by the absence of God, or presence of the devil… it’s a chemical imbalance that I’ll have to live with during my time on Earth, regardless of my relationship with God. Sure, a strong relationship with God makes everything more bearable, but praying won’t make my bipolar disorder go away. Praying, will, however, help me become stronger in facing the adversity that life has given me. So I pray.

Source:  10 “Harmless Things” You Say That Hurt Me: Mental Health Awareness

Personal note: Praying can be hard when I am having difficulty controlling mental illness. So, please, pray for me instead.

8 thoughts on “Pray for me, instead.

  1. Well said. I’m a prayer myself but for me none of that can help if my nutrition is bad. I’ve recently learned I am extremely magnesium deficient (along with other vitamins and minerals) and by addressing that I’ve regained some of my energy and mood. Meds and therapy can help other people as well. Anyways, I hope you can get some relief and I will pray for you! You are clearly a great person. You got this! /

  2. Pingback: Pray for me, instead. – Schwartz Blog/mypoetry.mystory/randomquotes

  3. Speaking as a godless heathen who equates “letting in the devil” to reading the Tweets of Donald Trump, I can only shake my head in sadness and bewilderment. If Christians are not unconditionally accepting of the life struggles of other Christians, then who are they accepting of — just themselves?

    Admittedly, being homeless has genuinely helped me to better understand the emotional spectrum (and/or tightrope) that we all live on but still… people who are so backward as to declare that bipolarity and depression come from the devil are the kind who would still burn witches, given half the chance.

  4. Amen 🙏 I can totally relate. I accepted Christ a long time ago and have faith in God for help with my mental illness. Well meaning Christians will never understand what we deal with and the battles of our illness. I was made to feel like my medical condition was a spiritual condition for a long time. It has been a very hard journey for me. I am so thankful that Romans 8:38-39 is my life verse. It has kept my feet on solid ground so many times. What a friend we have in Jesus ❤️😊🙏

  5. My sister constantly was told that her depression was from the devil. And when she was having terrible PTSD symptoms she was told she should put the past behind her. People can certainly use the Bible against the hurting person. I appreciated this post.

  6. Beautiful and well said, Perpetua. Depression and mental illness are NOT letting the devil in. People are so ignorant, sometimes. I suffer with this too and on good days, I know that the hard times are growing my soul and are definitely drawing me nearer to my Savior. The dark days are daunting and terrifying. Thank God for those light filled days of clarity!

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