Two cows, move over. Cows have right of way.

Cows roam freely in India and I was so excited to see them all over that I must have taken more photos of the bovines than humans. They are such lovely gentle giants.

India considers them sacred, respected, honored, revered and loved. The cow is a symbol of earth, life, provider and wealth. But make no mistake, they are not being worshiped.

There has been a political, religious, economic satires about the “Two Cows” theory. It has been well discussed, argued, dissected, improved and still an ongoing joke.

Since these are Indian cows, the Indian model is total wrong and I changed the word “you worshiped” to “set them free.”

These are compilation of two cows from the internet that I Googled.  I added one based on my experience travelling India.

Indian: You have two cows. You set them free.

Seeker in India: You have two cows. You let them roam all over. As a motorist or pedestrian, you move over and make way for the cows. Cows have right of way.

Canadian: You have two cows. The government takes them both away and sell you back the milk. For some reason, you accept it and watch hockey. Despite that the government take everything you have, the only time you ever riot is over a hockey game.

American: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

Vegan: You have two cows. You hang out in the fields with the cows. They eat alfalfa, you eat alfalfa.

British: You have two cows. Both are mad.

Polish: You have two horses. You forge a few documents – you now have two cows!

Christian: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

Socialist: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

Capitalist: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Pissed Off American: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

Hinduism: You have two cows. They are precious to you like they were your mother because of the plentiful blessings they provide, and you cannot bring yourself to harm them in any way. They abuse their privileged position and take naps wherever they please, causing you constant trouble.

Google:  It was predicted that you have two cows. It took 0.37 seconds to determine that you had two cows and that about 2,420,000 results would interest you. But you’ve let Google know that you’ve got two cows.

These are the rest the photos of the cows. You may make up your own two cows theory from these shots.

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