It’s a good day to die.

It was a sunny day yesterday and hot by the time it was 1o a.m.  I walked to church in this extreme weather and I thought it’s a good day to die. 
Walking to church takes me 30 minutes but with the heat, it took longer.  I felt so sluggish and the heat slows me down. 
I can’t remember the last time I was at this church.   As I recall, it was a funeral.  Here I am again, going to attend to another funeral. 
Sigh, another dearly departed.  
At my age, I am starting to resign, no, accept is a better word; accept the fact that one by one, in my inner circle, death is just around the corner. 
It’s a good day to die, I vocalized it this time with my family. My family is used to the morbid way I speak. 
Then I struck a conversation about being buried.  This is the first time I am going to an Italian and Filipino funeral.  So far so good, it’s very civilized. 
Niece #2 mentioned that she had been to a Portuguese funeral and there are so much drama. 
Well, there won’t be any drama in my funeral, for sure.  I want a party!  This body will be cremated.  Said I. 
Niece #1’s  face lit up and asked me: Can I keep some ashes and put you beside the astray while I smoke.   We are both smoker and we had so many good conversations over a cup of tea and a smoke. Or can I sprinkle your ashes in my garden since you love gardening, she added. 
Sure why not but you have to ask permission, I said. 
Her Mom interjected in our conversation that it is unacceptable in the Catholic tradition to keep some ashes for memorabilia or spread it around.  It must be buried in the cemetery.  
So much for that brilliant idea. 
In the cemetery, our dearly departed was buried in a Mausoleum.  Her site is on the fourth level. 
When the service was finished, I roamed around checking out the rows and high-rise cemetery to get an idea how the cremated ones are kept. 
This is what I found and how I want it to be when they bury me. 
Of course, the writings will be in English with a couple of additions:  a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

53 thoughts on “It’s a good day to die.

  1. I got a chuckle reading your conversations you had with your family.

    As I look back on what I’ve learned when I was a child, I see how much of what I learned was a contradiction. I grew up in the Lutheran faith and then converted to Catholic because my husband grew up in the Catholic faith. This was some what okay with my step dad. He didn’t believe in confession, praying for those who’ve passed or to Mary. Although, I see there is nothing wrong in praying for those who’ve left the body, confessing or praying to Mother Mary! I also see how many faiths mourn over death and yet go to services hearing that their loved one is in a better place continuing to live. What happens, do we die or do we live? Do we mourn or do we celebrate? I have answers to these questions and I’m grateful for what I’ve received. I believe we never die, we only leave the body. I speak and think of death differently.

    What does it matter what one has done with someone’s ashes, they’ve only left the body. I want to be cremated as well. My wishes would be that my loved ones would spread my ashes in a beautiful garden or perhaps in the ocean. If someone wants to keep some of the ashes, I’m fine with that. I’m choosing to keep my thoughts on…they are only ashes of the body my spirit used to live this life on earth to learn and grow as I’m remembering who I truly am and have only forgotten. I am much more than this body. 🙂

  2. I’m not sure why…but I have no problems with talking about death, or even thinking about dying. I want to be cremated too…and then I don’t really care what is done with my ashes, but I hope it will be something useful. I’ve told my children to not make a big deal and buy a tree and then put my ashes underneath the tree…because if the tree dies, then they’ll feel bad all over again. Just put my ashes under some rose bush in some unknown place and leave it at that…useful to the earth at the end. Some days, it does seem like an okay day to die. 🙂

    • You are so wise not to buy a tree and then some. Funeral and cemeteries is actually for the living, a place of acceptance of dearly departed. I’m glad you are comfortable on the thought of death and dying. I am.

      • Yes…I understand the comfort given to the living by cemeteries and such. For me, I think it took nearly dying once several years ago that changed me completely. I no longer fear death…at all. Each day is truly a gift, it is all we can be sure of. Let me be useful all the way to the end…back to the earth. My children just shake their heads at their mom, I might add. 🙂

  3. I didn’t know Catholics couldn’t keep ashes … I’m glad you are okay. It’s unfortunate when we lose another friend. And it seems that every time I do lose someone, I keep all my other friends’ death all become one. It’s hard …

      • and mine as well … but I have so many projects on the go, not to mention living in the moment, I hope it’s not for many decades yet. 🙂

  4. Death is always a subject nobody wants to talk about…an then a funeral comes and we do talk about it. I am sorry you had to go to one. It is ok to talk about it I think as we all need to make our choices while still alive. My psrents told me what they wanted and arranged already everything in advance, so they have the assurance that it will be done as they wanted. I might just do the same and tell my sons. When my dad died I decided I didn’t even want a funeral as I found it so very hard to be there. Lots of decisions to be made!
    I hope you are ok and can cope with the loss!

    • Yes, it’s a lot of work when one dies. Thinking that dying is an easy way out, not quite. Yes, I’m ok, thank you for your concern. Maybe, I’ll write more about death to get it out of the system.

Please share your reflection. Thank you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s