After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.
Dear Mrs. Woolf,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:
June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.
August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
To read the rest, please visit the related articles.
Related articles
- Walmart antics (humour) (bradstanton.com)
- Ways for men to get out of shopping – permanently! (viewfromthemidwest.com)
Hahaha! Morning Perpetua. Thanks for the laughs. 🙂
Hugs Paula. Xxx
Too funny, can’t resist, Paula.
The man should be enshrined. Brilliant.
My kind of man, Mr. DaG.
Thanks for this – I needed a good ol’ belly laugh… loved it!! : )))
Okey, is this a man speaking?
No – it’s me Anne – a woman/Mum/Monty-owner! : )))
Sorry, Anne. I didn’t recognize you with all the fur you are wearing. Hi, Monty. 😛
A man with ideas! Really funny, thanks!
Thank you, Utesmile.
Love this – can you imagine having a bored man with you in that shop 😉
Actually, he is my kind of man. I will help him to unleash that boredom. 😛
I learned a long time ago to never take a man shopping unless you really need him to lift something heavy!
Good for you. Just ask him to give you his credit card.
You’re right — this is a good way to start the week! Thank you! 🙂
I am? Gee, that’s very praise worthy. Thanks, TK.
🙂
as you know, I love to laugh at myself but especially with others, especially writers
I can see that from those smiling eyes.
🙂
Oh boy, that was a good laugh. Reserving a bag of chips!!! Ah gawd, funny. I hafta get my hubby to read this because he’s the one that likes to shop and browse and me, not so much!
I’m with you on laughter and of all things Ela’s giraffe in the regrig came up again today, lol. 🙂
Thanks I needed that.
Yisraela
lol.. Grandpa has to read this, then at least somebody will be home with me, while Granny is shopping 😉
Please do and let me know what Grandpa thinks.
Haha…this made my day! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Angie, Good to hear that I made you smile.
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This is the best notification I received for today, Emily. Congratulations and thank you.
😆 Great start to the week! 😆
Hahahahaha 😆 I can hear you laugh all the way from Australia. 😆
I’m not surprised! 😛